Crocodile Rock

Although I haven't been able to use my studio this week (for fear of messing things up and then someone coming to view the house!), I have been able to craft at a crop and at a friend's house.  I borrowed one of Paula's magazine clippings for inspiration and created this layout using Echo Park's This and That Charming (sorry, not sure which magazine!)

The photo of my boy is blurred - I'm no photographer and so capturing excited toddlers on a dull day is beyond me!  I don't mind though - its an action shot ;-)

It marked quite a big moment for me back then.  I finally felt like I was doing the normal stuff that mums did with their children and actually achieving some of the things I thought parenting was all about.  I suffered with post natal depression during his first year and only started to feel a bit normal (whatever that is) by the time he was 2.

I think he must have been about 2 and a half in this photo.  We spent hours covering the egg box with paper and then painting it and putting it together.  He was so pleased with his crocodile creation and spent ages whizzing it around and taking it for a walk.  I was so proud of him too.  Actually... I was proud of us.

Bye for now
xx

"Inspired by Sophie" - S J Crafts May Challenge

I'm really enjoying designing for Sarah's challenges at S J Crafts every month.  I love the way the challenges are changing each month because there is so much inspiration this way.  I also really love seeing how everyone else interprets the challenge too and I'm always amazed at how different our designs are.  

This month we've gone for a bingo card grid and the idea is that you can draw a line through any three elements to use - vertical, horizontal or diagonal but not going around corners.  You could take a chance and make a stab with a pin to start you off or choose something that tickles your fancy.

For my design this month, I went with the row across the middle.  Can you spot the three elements?

The layout is about my niece, who you may already know is also my Personal Trainer.  I can't really put into words what she has done for me recently but as I mentioned in a previous post, she has literally given me my life back.  As well as boosting my epically failing confidence and energy levels and dragging me out of the depression that had engulfed me.  Of course we have a long way to go but we know we are heading in the right direction.  She is definitely helping me live with my One Little Word (Heart).

I used papers from the Crate Paper Boyz Rule collection to bring out the orange of that scary looking gym equipment.  It goes really well with the slightly retro style (both the gym and the papers!)  Plus we have so many comedy moments together as we are both clumsy and a bit incident prone so the comic book bunting and stickers were a great match too.

 You can see all three elements from the bingo card here - the star printed vellum as part of the messy stack, the blue circular paperclip on the tag and the "Inspired" stamping.

And here again for another example - I'd accidentally torn the vellum so I made a feature of it, I stamped a notebook border near the tape and then added the orange star brad (given to me by a friend on the retreat the other week.)

So now its over to you!  Choose a line, any line, and see where it takes you.  Link up to the challenge on the S J Crafts blog sometime in the next month and you could be one of the featured projects!  We'd love to see what you are inspired to make.

Bye for now
xx

WOYWW 256

I do keep meaning to post more than my desk for What's on Your Workdesk Wednesday but I still haven't properly recovered from the last few months and got back into a routine yet.  I did spend Saturday crafting in a good cause though at a 12 hour charity crop for Naomi House children's hospice and you can see one of the layouts I made after my desk shot.

And here it is...

 Points to note: I was finishing up some DT work (partially hidden under the letter stickers) because I didn't like it, it didn't seem finished.  I added some twine with some tacky glue and I like it more now.  I had actually put it away as finished, hence my AC album being out but every time I went to post up the photo to the DT blog I found I was holding back because it didn't seem quite right!

Anyhoo, its done now and will be up on the blog soon but it needs to dry and be photographed - which in itself is a conundrum with this incessant weather.  I usually take my pictures outside in the day time but I just haven't been home when it hasn't been raining!

There is an empty pint glass there but it wasn't full of beer - I take a soluble vitamin thingy every day mixed with another medicine that I have to take and together they taste quite nice and get me to drink more water so its a win win - except that it makes my wee fluorescent yellow which can be quite alarming the first time you notice ;-)

At the back of the table are two boxes of embellishments that I have recently been travelling with.  The Jo Malone candle box hasn't been unpacked since the retreat a fortnight ago and the clear box is everything I've been using on my Devon album.  If I don't have time or energy to gather together stuff for other layouts, I grab that box, my bag of papers and my album and I'm good to go.  It already has all the page protectors in with the photos appropriately spaced so I can pick it up and put it down and return to it as and when.

This was one of the 5 or so layouts that I completed on Saturday.

All the supplies are October Afternoon, some very old, some not quite so.  The divided page protectors are American Crafts and come in various sizes so much easier to play with in short bursts than a regular 12x12.

Gosh it feels like a long time since we first visited Featherdown Farm's Aller Farm and therefore a long time since I started this album.  I think I've broken the back of it now though... if I could just resist trying to use EVERY SINGLE picture of a cow then I would have finished by now...

Right, I'm off for another session at the gym and then I can come back and relax and peruse the other desks knowing I have done a good thing for myself - it really really helps my depression (more on that in another post).  If I can still use my arms afterwards I might even leave a comment or two so please do stick the kettle on ;-)

Bye for now

xx

WOYWW 252

It's time for another WOYWW and I have missed the last couple of weeks thanks to my madness.  That doesn't mean that things have been quiet here at Crazy Towers, oh no no.  

Our house goes on the market today so I have had to clean up my craft space ready for the photos.  I have no idea where anything is because I just boxed it all up and hid it away!  Doesn't look too bad though does it?

I haven't actually done any crafting since our Artful Angels retreat a few weeks ago because of how bad I've been feeling - normally it would help.  I even missed our regular crop last Saturday because of a stupid vertigo type attack.  I finally went in my room to craft at 7pm last night!

Because of my recent "blip" and the lack of any medical treatment that works, I have had to try something different, a different sort of crafting if you will...  I'm planning a post on this in more detail but you get the idea from the photo...

This is my amazing niece - she has literally saved my life in the last couple of weeks.  She is my Personal Trainer and people find it hard to believe that she lifts all these weights because she is even shorter than me and I barely scrap 5'2"!

She has really really helped me and as such, I felt I was able to finally go back in my craft room and mess it up again!  I had to do a very speedy card for Miss Bella because she is 5 today!

Hopefully once this very busy week of birthday celebrations and house marketing is out of the way I can get back to regular blogging and regular visiting again.  Put the kettle on, I'll be around soon ;-)

This post is brought to you by the powers of What's On Your Workdesk Wednesday.

Bye for now

xx

Always the shadow



Sometimes a photo perfectly captures a moment or someone's personality.  Now and then a photo can capture a feeling too and sometimes it can help you to put things into words.

 

This photo was taken at Christmas on a rare sunny day.  Everyone seems to have had lovely weather again today except for parts of Wales which has been cloudy and misty - typical!  I still managed to get out for a gentle stroll on the beach here in Newport though (the one in the photo is the next bay round in Moylgrove) except that this time I was on my own.  I'm waiting to have the aerial fixed after the storms earlier in the year and having some much needed head space. 

After many attempts to find the right medication for my depression, we've come to the end of the road with it really.  I'm in the process of writing a blog post about what it feels like (boy won't that be a jolly read!) but right now I can't even scrap - that's how bad it is.  I'm going to try something a little outside of the box when I get back in a sort of last ditch attempt to make some progress.  I don't want to be the shadow blighting the lives of my family and friends.  I want to be there with them, enjoying the sun.

Supplies List
Patterned papers from Crate Paper "The Pier"
Letter stickers from Simple Stories "Homespun"
Enamel dots inside the flowers from My Mind's Eye
Wood veneers from Studio Calico "Hearts & Arrows"
Cardstock from Bazzil Basics in Kraft
Other items from my stash

Bye for now
xx

WOYWW 247

Despite the mess here today there is actually a system in place and much upheaval has been gone through.  The drawers to the left are now tidy and the top drawer has all my photos IN ORDER!  Well until my next order of 288 come in the next couple of days... 

The papers etc spread out out at the front are what I'm working on for my current DT projects which I will be squirreling away on this weekend as we are off to a scrapbooking retreat in a barn with the Artful Angels! We had a lovely time last year at the same place and I think it is just what I need to get myself sorted and recharge my batteries.

I've shuffled the shelves a little and put my bots and bobs back on my desk after a mammoth bout of filing.  I now have 2 cake stands on my desk - the pink glass one was from my very good friend for my 40th last month (is it really only last month?!)  The wire one holds all my JYC bits so that I can just pick the whole thing up and move it away while I work on something else.

Last week I had some happy mail from the lovely Lunch Lady Jan in the form of a quilt and pillow for Miss Bella's babies.  She was over the moon with it and went all dreamy and quiet but not to worry, it was a temporary thing and she is back to her chatty self again and enjoys reading to her babies in their new bedding.  Thanks Jan!

So what have you got to show us this week?  Link up with Julia at Stamping Ground because sharing is caring ;-)

Bye for now
xx

Water Boy

Here's one from the archives for you!  You can tell that I even photographed a while back because there was sun light on that there slate paving.  These days it is a much darker shade of grey and constantly wet!

This layout was completed at Scrap-a-Mia with the lovely Kirsty Wiseman and involves flaps!  You are welcome :-)

I had a range of photos with me with no specific plan but actually the papers that Kirsty had chosen worked really well with a random set of pictures that I ended up putting together about Louis's love of water.His first swimming lesson on the left and dancing with his shadow on the beach on the right.  He was 4 months old and 3 years old respectively.

And then nearly 4 in the final flap playing with the fountains at the local lido.  Isn't that turquoise just perfect! The papers have areas that are embossed with gold and other areas that are flocked.  We did enjoy a few moments of just stroking these papers as I seem to recall.  I was really new to scrapbooking then but I immediately felt a friendship to Kirsty because of this one fact alone!

 I'd read a few of her blog posts since I knew that I would be taking her class so I knew a little bit about her style and her daughter with gorgeous curly hair who seemed different to other children.  I had horrific PMT at the time of the class and she opened by explaining that this layout would leave space for lots of journalling if we wanted it.  She didn't normally journal much but in the case of her example layout she'd had plenty to say about a particularly special friendship that her daughter had.

I learned that Ellie had various special needs with no clear diagnosis and that "normal" friendships were something very rare for her.  Kirsty was visibly choked at recalling these special photos and I had to leave the class to go and have a good blub in the toilets.  Every day is out of the ordinary for parents like Kirsty and yet I had 2 healthy "normal" (I hate that word) children and yet I struggled with the most mundane of things.  At the time I didn't know just how much scrapbooking would help me deal with these feelings or that 4 years later I would be STILL be dealing with them.

I think I'll come back to this topic, it needs to be opened up.  That was going to be what this blog was all about but I found that I just didn't want to harp on about it.  That's not reaching out to people in the same boat though and that's not helping anyone.  I don't want my blog to become a sad place but I do want to hold my hand out to other people who might be helped by crafting.

I'm happy to say that in just a few weeks I will be saying hello to Kirsty again in real life for a girly weekend with other crafters.  THAT sort of thing really helps :-))

Bye for now
xx

WOYWW 243

Good morning, good yawning!  It's Wednesday again - time for a snoop around some creative spaces.

I'm scrapping my way out of another crash (depressive low) probably caused by being ill for a few weeks and all the birthday celebrations being over.  Last week I felt so bad that I couldn't even craft and Sunday was spent on the sofa.  This week however it is all change!  I made 2 layouts on Monday and I have another in the offing.  They are all  as a result of Shimelle's class "Return to the Collection" and I am using an old Echo Park collection called For The Record 2.  You can see one of the layouts on the pile in the middle and the next one on the black mat ready to go.

If you look carefully you can see a red word near the pencil case - heart, my word for the year.  I need to get someone to take a pic of me holding the word (which I die-cut on my Silhouette) and then that picture will form part of my One Little Word project.  I'm hoping to get that done before I lose the die-cut under a pile of art sediment! ;-)

This is the first of the layouts from the class.  I'm using an old set of photos from a holiday in Greece, so old in fact that they have the negatives stored with them!

I thought the blue and white colour scheme was very apt for photos of Greece with all the blue seas and the blue and white houses etc.

Nissyross is an island just off Kos in Greece that most people visit because of the volcano.  It's not dormant (I wrote the journalling before checking my facts - rookie error!) but it is not erupting (obviously) and you can walk into the caldera if you are brave enough.  It is hot and you have to wear proper shoes and be careful where you walk but it was an amazing experience.

I've just realised that there is a black gem missing from the flower on the right so I shall rectify that but that was not the only mistake.  Can you spot it?

How about with the following picture?

Yes, that's right, in my fuggy headspace I cut too much off of the ledger paper for the inside so I had to break it up and cover the joins to make it fit!  Thank goodness I have a lot of 12x12 cardstock in colours I don't use so that I can make a patchwork on it!

I think, in the trade, that is known as a partial scrapectomy ;-)

This post is brought to you by the letters WOYWW with the lovely Julia.

Bye for now
xx

WOYWW 223

Get set for a shocking pictre of my desk.  Not because it is messy, oh no, it is not for a change, but because I am still desperately waiting a replacement for my poorly camera lens.  Still stuck on full zoom and making life very difficult  to take pictures of anything bigger than 6 inches.  I took these shots by balancing the camera on my head to give it some stability and stop some of the blur (not wholly successful as you can see...) because of the DARKNESS so early in the day already!

I had a major tidy up on Saturday and put away loads and loads of things that were scattered across the floor and every other conceivable surface.  I thought it would help my extremely fragile mental health but I ended up spending all of Sunday in bed almost catatonic.  Actually getting on with some crafting has helped me though and I am gradually pulling out of it again. I think I was just exhausted by the constant battle against depression to be honest and all the things I have to do just to keep my head above water with it.

Anyhoo, this was part of my therapy...

....Stamping and colouring some Christmassy images for the 6 on the 6th series at S J Crafts.

Might have to have a little outing to get some more Promarkers this week.  I feel the need for some seasonal colours.  What colours wouldn't you be without at Christmas?

Of course I am sharing my studio / craft space / workroom / whatever as part of What's on Your Workdesk Wednesday and you can join in easily too.  Might see you there :-)

Bye for now
xx

Road Trip

Our holiday to Lower Roduish Farm at the start of the month seems so long ago now.  I can't quite work out why life is so chaotic at the moment but I feel like we need another holiday!  We've spent the day at Legoland and we are all exhausted but happy.  I am loving time with my family right now.  I can honestly say that I really do feel positive at the moment and like the recovery plans are actually starting to come together and mean something.  Its taking a lot of time and hard work but I will get there.  In the meantime, with a week in Wales at Grandma's still a good few weeks away, I shall have to be content with looking at photos of our previous Featherdown camping trip at Aller Farm.

This is one of the very early pages from the album because it was the road trip down to Aller Farm.  We stopped off at West Bay for a leg stretch and some lunch and fully embraced the holiday spirit from the off!

Supplies are of course, October Afternoon, from various collections and a little stamp from Amy Tangerine.  I love that projector slide!

I think the alphas are some old Lilly Bee ones but it feels good to be using up some unloved supplies.

Is it wrong that I am having to resist making up the new Lego sets that the children bought today?  They are in bed.  I am itching to open the boxes!  I wonder if I will ever tire of that favourite childhood toy!  Is there anything that you played with as a child that you still love to play with now?  Do let me know.

Bye for now
xx

Pick your precious - Trainers

This post is brought to you by Story Telling Sunday with Sian from High in the Sky.

Its been a frantic but wonderful bank holiday weekend here.  I've just realised that it is Monday and not Sunday so I am a day late with this post, THAT'S how lovely this weekend has been.  The sun was shining which always makes me happy and we had our first BBQ of the year.  We put our sun shade up for the season and even purchased some new garden furniture that we have been discussing for about 4 years now. There was a little bit of time for crafting, a day out at a country fair, a brief visit to Beaulieu to see Management at work, and I still managed to find time to put my trainers on.  These are my "precious" for this Sunday (Monday!)

Now many of you might think, well I know she is mad, but trainers?  Really?  Has she totally lost the plot?  Well yes, I am crackers and I make no apologies for that and I shall be honest and say that the last 2 weeks have been some of the lowest ever in my life but thanks to my trainers, I am pulling myself out of it again.

I am mid assignment for my writing course and my story is all about things that happen at the gym.  It was while working on that that I realised just how much my trainers have come to mean to me.  I bought them in September 2011 when I first considered needing some proper running shoes but they still look fantastic because I train on a treadmill.  Ordinarily I hate spending more than about £15-20 on shoes but these were £95!!!  I went to a specialist running shop for gait analysis and I was videoed running in different trainers to find the best support possible.  Knowing how much they cost means I don't wear them to walk to school or to go to the shops etc.  When I put these on, I mean business.  I know that when I wear these, I am doing something really good for myself.  As a bare minimum, we should all be doing 3x30mins per week for general health but yet it still feels a bit frivolous to spend that time on myself but it's becoming much more of a habit for me now.  Aside from the weight loss (I've lost a stone so far this year), the benefits to my mental health are better than any pill or therapy I have ever tried.  When I put my trainers on it's like taking a happy pill because I know that the endorphins are just there waiting for me to let them out.

I have a couple of set routines during the week and then I fit in other things around those.  On Wednesdays I do Combat training which is a mixed martial arts inspired cardio work out.  It feels like I am literally kicking and punching my demons away.  I'm working on my technique to get more out of the class but oh boy do I get sweaty or do I get sweaty?!  On Sunday afternoons I go to the gym to use the treadmill.  I do a combination of running and walking and I am working up to doing more and more of my time as running but it is hard on my shins.  I've got dodgy knees which is why I run on the treadmill rather than outside on hard pavements.  We live in an area with lots of slopes and I'm fine on the uphill but my knees just can't take the down.  I hope to rectify this as I get fitter and my legs get stronger but for now I am content with brisk walking in the local area.

Any time I am walking or running I use an app on my phone called Zombies, Run!  It's basically a story that plays clips in between your chosen running songs, all about the zombie apocalypse.  You are a runner helping to rescue people, retrieve medical supplies and technological equipment, find information about a vaccine etc to help build a base and rebuild a healthy population.  It uses GPS / pedometer to track your progress and rewards you with materials and unlocking extra missions.  If you are really crazy then you can enable the zombies to chase you and you have to speed up by 10% for one minute or risk being caught and you can hear them coughing and groaning and getting closer by the second.  Seriously, I've never been into zombies or anything but I can't wait to get my trainers on and find out what the next part of the story is - it has totally transformed my training.  They have just released Season 2 and have included missions written by a fan who had written some fan fiction about the characters in the story.  If ever there was a reason to praise fan fiction, this is it!  Can you imagine getting that call from the game you love asking for you to write some stuff for them?!

I'm really enjoying getting fit and even loving the ache in my muscles the next day (or two or three!) because I know it is because I am doing something really good for myself.  I have to continue to make time for this because the hard work reaps so many benefits.  I am looking forward to putting my trainers on again very soon.  And of course, at the end of the day, I am worth it :-)

Bye for now
xx

Pick Your Precious

This year, Sian's Story Telling Sundays is taking the form of "Pick You Precious".  This is my first story of the year so I had to think hard about what my first "precious" would be.  These items would be the things that we might rush to save from a fire and I think that my instinct would be to grab my lap top!  It contains my photos, my coursework, my friends, my life!  I can find all those things elsewhere in the house of course but if the house went then I would definitely want my lap top to be saved.

But that's a bit naff really isn't it?

So I had another think.  Maybe I would go room by room and find something in each place that ideally I would love to save above almost everything else.  Yes, that's it, I decided.  But where to start?

Well, after all the small scale upheaval over the last few months, I thought I might as well start in the bathroom which is finished aside from my pebble pictures.   I know, I know, you are wondering what on earth I might want to save from our bathroom.  Well have a look-see here at my little display of bits and bobs.

So many little bits and so many memories attached.  The vase is filled with shiny pebbles from an old arrangement of some sort, then a layer of shells from various beaches including Newport in Pembrokeshire and Lee-On-Solent in Hampshire.  The next layer is driftwood lovingly collected by the children from Newport, then a few tiny bits of sponge from Kos, then black slate from Newport, lovely shells from all over and topped with a lobster claw from a meal in Newport.

Further along you can see an arrangement on the window ledge and this little grouping is like a potted history of our lives together.

The brown shell and the corals were from Fiji which was one of the stops on our Round The World trip.  We were young and married but otherwise free to travel and explore and talk about what the future might bring.

The large sponge is from Kos like the little bits in the vase.  That was our last foreign holiday before we had the children and it was a last minute thing as it was just after we lost our first baby.  Some Greek women helped me to perform a ritual around an allegedly sacred fountain to ensure save passage for our next babies and we visited the Asklepieion, the healing temple of Hippocrates, to feel the power of the great doctors, basically anything to help us move towards our dreams of a family - dreams which had seemed so easy and straightforward from a bar in Cambodia.

The driftwood from the beach at our family holiday home in Wales was again collected by the children.  That beach has been such a constant through most of our lives together.  We visited Wales as our first weekend away together and so we were really happy when the In-Laws bought the cottage a few years later.  It was where we decided to go backpacking, where we decided to change careers, where I did lots of my study for my first degree, where we planned for the future and where we ran to when it all collapsed and where we've taken our children every year since they were born.

The fossils came from our most recent family holiday, from a beach that was new to the 4 of us, that we explored together, the 4 of us.  We've had our ups and downs when it has come to the challenge of parenting but I'm really proud of where we are right now.

Bye for now
xx

Inspired by Winter

I'm really pleased to be joining Sarah at S J Crafts for another term on her design team.  She has been running a series on being Inspired by Winter and this included getting to know the Design Team a bit more.  Pop over to the blog and see how we all answered the questions.

Here's what I made using some goodies from My Minds Eye and Studio Calico.  

I was inspired by the wintery colours of icey turquoise and grey with a splash of sunny yellow.  That's certainly the kind of wintery days we've had here - its been fffrrreeezing! 

I used a doily as a mask and then another one actually on the layout because they always make me think of the delicate patterns of snow flakes.  I also love the intricate designs and the sparkles that come with the frosts and so I added some bling in the form of gems and some snowflake patterned vellum.

The photograph is of me and my Mum at my graduation which happened in the summer but represented years of studying during the Winter months.  I'm right back there now, highlighter and cup of tea in hand.  Its much harder with children and I have been forced to make a few changes, albeit temporarily I hope.  I have decided to take a bit of a blog break both in writing and reading / commenting although I hope to get around many of you and see how you are etc.  I need to get my head straight as I have really struggled recently and it has not been good for those around me.  I need to get some writing done and focus on the bigger things until I can catch my breath a bit but I really hope to be back soon.

In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful festive holiday period, however you celebrate!  Blessings of the Season to you all!

Bye for now
xx

Carta Bella Traditions cards

When Echo Park Papers announced it was launching a sister company I was intrigued.  I love Echo Park and the new Carta Bella company promised premium branding with a sophisticated range so I was excited to be able to work with one of their debut collections.  

Sarah sent me the Traditions collection from the S J Crafts shop and true to their word, the papers are wonderful quality and slightly textured.  The colours in this particular kit are great for everyday, Autumn and Christmas if you prefer not to purchase overly themed ranges.   

I had a few cards to make and I think you'll agree that they are all very different even though they come from the same wonderful kit.  

This one was inspired by a home decor project on Pinterest and was inked with Rusty Hinge Distress Ink and embellished with orange gems for an Autumnal feel.

This one features one of the stunning stickers from the 12x12 sheet that comes as part of the collection.  I knew it wouldn't work on a scrapbook page so it was perfect as a focal point on a card raised up with some pop dots. 

And then this last one for my dear Dad which embraces the traditional feel of the collection with the addition of an embossed car (oh how I love to watch embossing powder melt!) and some script ribbon (apologies for the blurring, my camera didn't like being left in the cold car overnight!).

I also made 2 very different scrapbook layouts with this wonderful collection so please check back again soon.

I must just say a quick thank you for all the comments and e-mails etc on my previous post.  It is wonderful to have people thinking of you across the world and sending their love.  The last couple of weeks have been some of the darkest I have known for a good while, the stress of the house is just adding to it!  This weekend I am off to a scrapping retreat to play with paper for hours on end.  This is by far my best therapy.

Much love to you all

Bye for now xx

Crazy busy

I'm trying not to panic and trying to laugh about these things but, well, you know me, anxiety is my middle name.

I'm about 5 weeks behind on my Open University writing course.  The room where I do my writing is about to have a bit of wall taken out so everything has had to come out.  My craft room, where I like to write too, is awash with Sylvanian Families, Lego and beads that need to be made into Christmas presents.  I can't get to my table and I have several craft deadlines to complete and a retreat to prepare for.

After the leak a few weeks ago, we have had to move most of the stuff out of the utility room / children's art room so the floor can dry out and the cupboards can be replaced at some point.  The downstairs bathroom is being ripped out and replaced, hence the bit of wall being taken out in the spare room (for some reason the bath was recessed into that room!)

I wanted to show you lots of photos of the work going on but now I am having blogger issues because I am over the upload space and I have no idea how to fix it.  Any ideas?

I've been using a new recipe for my Christmas cakes but I burned one of the many I need to make so Management (who has been VERY poorly indeed) cut off all the edges.  I think I shall make a cup of tea and do a taste test on said cake.  Anyone else want a cup?

Bye for now
xx

Goals? What goals?

Back in September I wrote this post about my short term goals.  To date, far from any progress with my goals, I have actually gone backwards in a few of them!  Here they are again, just for fun.

I want to get back to my running and hopefully start to attend the regular Park Runs held locally. 

I want to make real progress with my weight loss and head towards losing another 2 stone. 
I want to engage more with the children in the precious times that we have together now. 
I want to get back to enjoying cooking by planning ahead and researching my Slimming World recipe books. 
I want to stay in control of the house in terms of the housework, the de-cluttering and the decorating.
I want to make positive progress with my shoulder injury.
I want to keep on track with my coursework and start to look for outlets for my work.
I want to make progress on my unfinished projects and keep adding to my haul of finished layouts.
I want to make progress with my photo workflow.
I want to be calm and happy and feeling like I am moving forward.

Several things have gotten in the way of this, just normal life things like birthdays and parties (which seem more frequent when we are already busy... or is that just me?), illness (colds ALWAYS come when you really could do without them) and (still battling with side effects of anti-depression medication and trying to get the balance right), random events at Management's work causing him to be busier than normal (this week it is the new Bond film preview) and general family crisis type stuff (tests and results that don't go as planned, the inquest into my Step-Mum's death which, as we expected, gave no more answers than we had a year ago when she died).  

I tried to get this photo blown up onto a canvas for my Dad's birthday last week but I didn't check the size.  When I went to collect it there was no way it would fit in the car.  It was 1.5m tall and 1m wide.  My step-mum ended up bigger than Miss Bella when she stood next to it!  The quality wasn't brilliant but it was passable, however it was just too ridiculously big.  The hassle involved in getting it sent back was yet more time I didn't have and it left my Dad with no present for his birthday.  Thankfully we have another one on the way from another company at more realistic size and quality.

One event that took up a lot of time this week but was awesome, was a night out with friends from school, some of whom I haven't seen for 22 years!  I had a new outfit, I had my nails done, I even had a spray tan!  A friend did my face (she's a make-up artist for celebs dahling) and we went clubbing and then crashed out in the hotel room.  I felt absolutely fantastic on the night, better than I have for ages, it was such a boost to my lagging self esteem.  Unfortunately the come down has been less awesome but it reminded me just how much I used to love going out and looking after myself etc.  A lot happened over the weekend in terms of things being talked about or noticed or admitted (amongst all of us) and we all came back with a determination to make some changes in our lives.

I don't know where I am going to get the energy from as I am still carrying this cold about like Quasi Modo's hump but I need to make some changes and fast.  Life is always going to be hectic, that's our crazy life now and I have to find a way to work around it rather than trying to wait until is passes.  With that in mind, I am going to have an early night and hope I wake up refreshed and ready to attack!

Bye for now
xx

Some summing up

Its been a pretty crazy couple of months around here.  The children went on school holidays and a couple of weeks later we had a new little boy in the family.  Baby T is my Great Nephew and he is now 5 weeks old.  He and his Mum and Dad moved the week he was born and they are now sadly nearly 3 hours away so the poor little sausage gets the life squeezed out of him when he visits as we take turns to hold him.

He has been down visiting this week and so we helped out by having Harvey, their lovely Staffordshire Bull Terrier for a doggy sleepover.

Between baby-watching and doggy sitting, we've not achieved much this week I can tell you!  We just about managed to fit in a quick snuggle with my other Great Nephew, Baby E who arrived in the world last week (you might remember from this post.)  He is now a whopping 4lbs and 10oz!  Even Management managed to get a snuggle of this one!

Two babies in a week is almost more than Miss Bella can handle.  Throw Harvey the dog into the mix and we have been a little... erm... overexcited to say the least.

She has found the slightly longer days at preschool really hard to adjust to with all this extra excitement going on.  At the end of the week it was all too much for her... bless!

I was really glad to get back to a routine again and part of that routine is the monthly Artful Angels crop.  This month we were visited by Handmade Treasures with her lovely displays of ribbons and buttons that looked like a lovely sweetshop.  I admit, I broke my stash diet here but only a little bit.  I used some of the stuff on Thursday when my friend came over for a scrappy play date and I managed to catch up on a few projects.

So we are now 2 weeks into the school term and I have no plans to visit or be visited by any babies or dogs this week, or to go to or host any crops.  I've also decided that as I didn't get off to a very good start with all this going on, I am not going to try to catch up or continue with LSNED this year.  I have too much to keep me occupied to be going backwards.  I can start exercising again this week and my new course starts in about 10 days time so I need to get as much done as I can before then.  Look at all these lovely books!

My routine will be a little different from now on that it was before the summer holidays but I really hope it will take me forward as I have really stalled in the last year or so with all the goings on and I can really feel the difference in my mood.  I thought if I shared my resolutions here then I might be more accountable to actually continuing with them.  So:

I want to get back to my running and hopefully start to attend the regular Park Runs held locally.
I want to make real progress with my weight loss and head towards losing another 2 stone.
I want to engage more with the children in the precious times that we have together now.
I want to get back to enjoying cooking by planning ahead and researching my Slimming World recipe books.
I want to stay in control of the house in terms of the housework, the de-cluttering and the decorating.
I want to make positive progress with my shoulder injury.
I want to keep on track with my coursework and start to look for outlets for my work.
I want to make progress on my unfinished projects and keep adding to my haul of finished layouts.
I want to make progress with my photo workflow.
I want to be calm and happy and feeling like I am moving forward.

Feel free to nag me, if you got this far you deserve it! ;-)

Bye for now
xx

Story Telling Sunday - The Constant Learner

"Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire." ~William Yeats


I left school at 16 without a full bucket or even a fire lit.  And yet.  And yet.  There simply must have been a spark there somewhere.  I had intentions of university but I left college only 3 weeks into my A levels.  Boy trouble.  I come from a very working class family so any qualifications were not really expected of me anyway.

Several years later, a chance comment by a fellow chalet-mate on a ski-ing trip, turned my life around entirely. I don't know how it came up but we got chatting about dropping oranges on Brighton sea front and researching who would help her to pick them up.  I remembered her fondly when I found myself doing similar research on Brighton sea front a couple of years later.  She'd been at a summer school as part of her psychology degree with the Open University and I was eager to know more about it.  Within hours of arriving home from the holiday, I was signed up for my first course.  Over the next 8 years, Management and I got married, moved house, we took a year out to go backpacking and then both changed jobs when we returned.  During that time I studied for approximately 14 hours a week, in my lounge, on the beach, in our spare room, in Wales, in Northamptonshire, in Hampshire and in France, on trains, on planes, on buses, in the garden, even in the loo.  At times it made me tear my hair out.  At times I was bored beyond belief.  Sometimes I was inspired and excited.  I lost sleep through stress and I lost sleep through thinking about things I had learned.  At the end of every module I felt relief.  Within a week I was itching to get a new set of course materials through the post.  I discovered a thirst for knowledge and a desire to write again that looks like it's never going to go away.  I met so many inspirational people and I am lucky enough to have found some great friends through my studies too.  Without meeting the people I did, I would never have made it past 24 hours of breastfeeding, let alone over 5 years in total.  I would never have had a home birth.  I wouldn't have had the support through my first miscarriage and the many years of depression.  Of course I met some very unpleasant people too or just plain weird but mostly they are my kind of weird.  

Getting the books out and setting myself up for an evening of study after a full day at work was mighty hard at times.  I hated spending hours at the word processor while other people were sunbathing in the garden or shopping for new shoes.  Some people were clubbing all night while I was revising into the early hours.  So many times I wanted to give up.  But I didn't.  After 8 long years, I passed my final module and gained a Bsc Hons in Psychology.  At last I was going to wear that gown and actually graduate.  But there was still one more hurdle to overcome.
We had decided to really make a celebration of my graduation, no bubbly though, I was 4 months pregnant by then.  Unlike with a bricks and mortar uni, you can choose your venue for your ceremony.  We chose The Barbican and we were all really looking forward to it - my Mum and Dad, my step-dad and step-mum, my Mother and Father in law.  My Father in law being there was important to me, he had never thought me worthy of his son and I had wanted to show him I was.  Of course it was nothing to do with my education, or lack of, but it brought us closer together and I have a lot to thank him for.  

8 days before the graduation, Management and I went for a routine scan and our whole world collapsed.  Our precious baby girl's heart had stopped.  I gave "birth", had several operations for retained placenta and I was, of course, a mess.  I didn't know if I was physically up to the graduation, let alone mentally.  With special dispensation though, I was able to sit near an exit, near the front, so I could escape if I needed to.  I managed that walk across the stage, wobbly legged and feeling sick, with my family cheering, my scan pictures tucked up my sleeve, one step at a time.  In the whole 8 years, those final few steps were by far the hardest.  But I did it.  I was a graduate.

Since then, I have continued to study with the OU just for fun.  I love to learn new things and get new books through the post.  I want to inspire my children to want to learn too.  I've taken classes in scrapbooking, writing, photography, nutrition, child care, anything and everything, I want to learn about it all.  My next OU course starts this month so expect more creative writing here very soon.  I can't wait.  

That chance conversation about oranges lit my educational fire.  And I'm so glad it did.

This post is brought to you by Sian's Story Telling Sunday over at High In the Sky.

Bye for now
xx